The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
