this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
