Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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