I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
