There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you had me at cake vodka
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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