Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this just has baby written all over it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Randomize
