you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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