you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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