He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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