He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
