if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
3pm strippers are depressing
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
