I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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