the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
