Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
