it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend