theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.