i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
