11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
