i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
