Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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