what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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