Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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