Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
