Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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