Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
