just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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