we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you would pick up someone in the library
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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