yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
