Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
