I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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