Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
