he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
