Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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