Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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