why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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