I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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