If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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