Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
