Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize