I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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