Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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