I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
