Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Rumble strips road head = magical
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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