Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
