We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
high people should be assigned attendants
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
