So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
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I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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