the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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