I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
