you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
