i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
