I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
