its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
