i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Randomize
