Non-Jews are for practice
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
