if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
