dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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