I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
