I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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