So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
