who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
