if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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