He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
