I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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