When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
