he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
