so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
