so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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