You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
