i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
