:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
