Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
